Q. What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
A. Casketball…
Q. Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
A. No, they eat the fingers separately…
Q. What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A. A sand-witch.
Q. Why is a ghost such a messy eater?
A. Because he is always a goblin.
Q. Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
A. Because demons are a ghouls best friend!
Q. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
A. They don’t have the guts.
A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and began undressing. When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked, “What’s wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird. “
“I had tolio as a child,” he answered.
“You mean polio ?” she asked.
“No, tolio. The disease only affected my toes.”
When the groom took off his pants, his bride once again asked ”What’s wrong with your knees? They’re all lumpy and deformed!”
“As a child, I also had kneasles,” he explained.
“You mean measles?” she asked.
“No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees.”
The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer. As the undressing continued, her husband at last
removed his underwear. “Don’t tell me,” she said. ”Let me guess…”
“Smallcox?”
Q. Who is the best dancer at a Halloween party?
A. The Boogie Man!
A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, “that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?” The man replies, “all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious…Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything — meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything.” “Well,” says the dentist, “that’s probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It’s eaten away your upper plate. I’ll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome.” “Why chrome?” asks the patient. To which the dentist replies, “It’s simple. Everyone knows that there’s no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!”
